Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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