i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
