but the lizard people decide everything anyway
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
