; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
