It's like God shit irony all over that family
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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