worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
