Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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