when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It's never too late to be topless.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
