Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
