You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he shaved USA in his pubs
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
