i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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