you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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