I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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