We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
