morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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