You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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