Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
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