Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
