spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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