Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
