I like to think it a success when the cops are called
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
