i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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