I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
