He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
