I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
