we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
