girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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