Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
