i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
