In the future we'll all be gay
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize