Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
