You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
