I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
it's great music for shaving your balls
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
