I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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