Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
