return my video game
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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