remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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