I'm going to jail i love you
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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