We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
