Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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