i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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