you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
