u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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