Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
