This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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