Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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