Grow some girl-balls and come out already
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
