Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
