what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
