Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
